TGIF!

Hello world!

So I went out today and it was really fun chatting and catching up! It was as though I turned back the clock thinking about all the things that made me laugh, all the things that I have been through. Thanks for helping me relive the experiences. I feel like I can be a happier person! Hopefully I get to meet more people that I can enjoy talking with and laugh this much. It'll be good to be around people like you! Time passed so quickly and it's already been so so many years since we met hahaha guess it is really hard to let people in your life but hopefully it'll all be worthwhile!

Beh

Post?

Hello world!

Actually I was thinking about this yesterday, that I should start posting everyday again but instead, document the good things that I thought about everyday. Instead of writing down the sorrows, why not write things that I am happy with? Man now I'm just stuck here, idk what to write now... Let's not post anything and go study.

Beh

Hai

Hello world!

Sad, feels like I need someone that I will never ever meet to talk to. If only I can play an online game now, but I am too busy going out and too busy with school. How I wish I am working now and have free time to play games to meet new people. I don't even know what's going on anymore. Can I not find someone to rely on? Somehow I just feel so lonely and meaningless. Yes, there are people I can talk to, but they will never always be around. So now what, I should just feel ok being by myself? Of course I can do that? I just have to find shows for me to watch and just keep going on the whole day? But end of the day, I'll still die alone. What's the point? I should just be happy? Feels like I'm a lost soul who don't want to open up to anything. Actually I just saw about emotional dependency and I'm going to read it now bb

Beh

Mood

Hello world!

Kinda sian these few days. Have been feeling ok for a while then feel sad again. I really don't know why my mood keeps changing everyday.. or even throughout the day. Maybe I really don't need to find meaning in life, and just live through it. Afterall, time waits for no one. Even the bus don't want to wait for me. Life just keeps changing, nothing stays constant. I don't think I have the ability to let the world wait for me. Let's hope I feel better from now. So I'm going to sign up for judo classes from next week on, hopefully it is something that I will like! Well at least it makes my whole body ache the next day. Everyone is moving on with their life no matter how tough, who am I to just stop here and drown myself in sorrows. Heading to school now, hope this is the start!

Beh

Lost

Hello world!

I feel so upset and lost today.. I really am. I have no motivation to do anything and it feels like no one really cares about me. Maybe people do care but I just feel so sad that I am no longer anyone's priority. It feels like I'll barely make a difference to anyone's life if I'm gone and that's really upsetting me. Maybe this should be a lesson to teach me that I don't need anyone and I don't need be of importance to anyone else. Idk I'm lost. What should I really be doing with my life? No one really cares about me. Why is it so hard to be alive? It's not easy to just die as well. People will be sad and blaming themselves for not caring enough and not paying enough attention. This is so tough. I really don't know who I can talk to, who I can rely on, and whether I should even be bothering anyone. Everyone has their own life to live and really, who wants to listen? I'll barely mean anything to them anyway. Life just sucks. Maybe if I were to die, it should be an accident. At least people will just be upset that I'm gone, and nothing about my feelings or how they haven't done well as friends / parents. Send help pls. 

Beh

):

Hello world!

Life is so much harder than I thought it will be.. I thought I can just move on but this is taking too long, I may need months or even years to really move on. I don't have the mood to do anything, even when I really need to be studying.. I hope I get better soon this is so tough.

Beh