Hello hello

Hello world!

Welcome to a dead blog! I haven't posted in many many months and just took a look at my stats, looks like its also been months since anyone cared to read this blog hahaha This blog should be somewhere that I come to when I have no one to talk to :') So it is always full of me complaining about useless things. Some update about what has been going on since my last post in around June. June I was working for my Summer internship and it ended gladly after a long 10 weeks. Kinda nice exposure but like everyone else said, I really do feel like it was just cheap labour. Then move on to a semester of school, which was really really shitty. Kinda hated the last semester, nothing to like about it except that I made a new friend? We still kinda chat now, he's really fun and lame like me. Maybe not fun, but yeah still enjoy chatting with him. Then came my winter internship at a big company, it was quite boring for the first few weeks but work slowly caught up with me, and I'm glad for the exposure I got. Things were really just moving slowly in my life, getting into buying stocks, earning some money but not that much. Life was ok, plans for the future was ok, until this week when things somewhat changed. Although I must say that this has been a recurring issue in my relationship for the past years, past many years, but yeah, probably this will be the turning point. Maybe the plan isn't the kind of life that we will have, things are just different. Afterall, people change. Honestly, I have no idea what kind of life I want. Somehow I just follow the plans made together, call me lazy? But when these plans are out, I really do look forward to follow them, to them coming true. My life just revolved around working towards such a plan, but now it just feels like everything is down and poof, gone. Maybe it is gone for good, maybe not. I honestly don't know if I will really be affected, but I am rather keen to know the outcome, whether or not the plan still holds. I'm just a sucker for such a plan. Although I always say that I am someone who just take one step at a time, pass day by day, 走一步看一步, maybe I really am not, at least not when we are looking in the far future. Aiya I really don't know myself. It really sucks to be this lost, I just have no interest in doing anything. Maybe I'll get depression someday? Worse come to worse, I'll replan my whole life, without you. I think things will work out just fine for me, so probably no need to worry about me. It should be time that I make my own decisions, choose my own life path, rather than think for the future of us. Maybe you're not the only one who is uncomfortable with such a plan. I really don't enjoy a time like this, but I can only blame myself for causing you to lose interest in me, for not doing anything to keep our relationship afloat. Before I know it, this semester will be over, and I really don't want to do badly again. I really want to do my best for school, I really want to know how my life will map out from here. But we don't always get what we want. Maybe you need time alone and I need time alone. Not gonna die without you I suppose hahaha

Beh